What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she understand? AH, I’m so mad, and frustrated with her. And I’m confused to! I’d though that I’d made the right decision. I mean, sharing the pills with Zane seemed like the only think I could do at the time.
No, it was the only think I could do. Zane keeps telling me I shouldn’t let Shay get to me, that I shouldn’t let her make me feel guilty for what we have. She was jealous and hurt that I hadn’t shared the pills with her instead of with Zane. She thinks that she should have been the one to get the other pill. And maybe she’s right.
Why is friendship such a hard thing to keep intact? We’re always supposed to be there for each other, but yet she betrays me like this, and then makes it out like I betrayed her. But oh gosh, I did. But how was I supposed to make that choice, everything that’s happened to make me seem like a bad guy was out of my control. Me and David, he fell for me before I fell for him. And the pills were a heat of the moment thing. Neither of which was my fault.
But still Shay, Shay-la, I’m sorry.
And for anyone that’s wondering, this little fight Shay and I had. For it was definitely a fight, she was shouting at me in a very non- pretty- making way. Yeah, anyway, it was after this awesome bubbly-making trick where we made the entire floating ice rink collapse. I guess Shay got really bubbly, and was thinking clear enough to hate me.
It’s all very horrible. I need to go to bed, and think.
Special Circumstances is looking for me again…
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